Lately I have been thinking a lot about friendship and how quickly people can come in and out of your life. From this has come some interesting observations (I think so anyway) about life in general.
I have always been a fan of the phrase “you get out of things what you put in” but I don’t think I have ever really realized how much that applies to until I started getting serious about one of my passions in life (fitness). through fitness I have seen first hand the tie between effort and reward (and subsequently jealousy but I may touch on that later). as I started applying this to other things in my life I realized that people can be very interesting in the way interaction plays out. for example, I had a friend recently whom I talked to basically every day and as we were talking it became apparent that we both didn’t want the same things. Now normally I wouldn’t have let that affect how often I spoke with this friend. But my mind quickly turned it into an equation (as it often does) and I realized the effort and time I was spending in keeping communicating going at that level wasn’t worth the effort due to the difference in goals/priorities when I could allocate that effort elsewhere. Once I came to that realization I cut back on communication significantly and have sense found that the communication has basically died out.
I know I could very easily chalk things like this up to “it wasn’t meant to be anything” or “it simply wasn’t right for me at that level” but I think these are a cop out that is used when people aren’t able to look at things from the perspective of commitment to their goals. You see from what I have found (in my limited experience) when you are able to commit to your goals you start to realize that things that aren’t helping you reach them can distract you from them and in the end hurt your ability to reach them.
Now I should add a caveat here… this is not me saying that you can’t have multiple goals. for example, one of my goals is fitness related. but another is ensuring that I live my life every day how ever brings me happiness. when something doesn’t (or no longer) pertain to those goals I find it effective (even necessary sometimes) to remove it from my life at some level.
Now with that I would like to ask anyone reading this a question. What are your goals and what are you doing to achieve them?